October72014

One Man Guy

An two page excerpt from a book I turned into a clip.

2AM

Bracelet

My dark brown leather bracelet double weaved around. It choked me. As if to say, “This hand you won’t need. You won’t need anything anymore. You’ve got me.” I could see the blood clogging, my hand falling off, and the bracelet repositioning itself on some other part of me. My dark brown leather bracelet. Still, I couldn’t let it go. It meant too much to me. Like a Chinese finger trap it sensed a pull and tightened on my wrist. A mirror on the floor called me in. Looking down I grabbed my bracelet and felt it loosen. A smooth glass with no end. Instead of reflection there was abyss. And the longer I stared the less I knew about myself. The bracelet gently slid off my hand. It was never my bracelet. My was just a word I imposed on it. It could not be mine such as nothing can every be anyone’s. I let the bracelet fall into its world of abyss and returned to mine. My hands in tact, I cried. 

July252014
July162014
I thought of that old joke, y’know, the, this… this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, my brother’s crazy; he thinks he’s a chicken.” And the doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.” 
Well, I guess that’s pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y’know, they’re totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and… but, uh, I guess we keep goin’ through it because most of us… need the eggs.
-Alvy Singer

I thought of that old joke, y’know, the, this… this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, my brother’s crazy; he thinks he’s a chicken.” And the doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.”

Well, I guess that’s pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y’know, they’re totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and… but, uh, I guess we keep goin’ through it because most of us… need the eggs.

-Alvy Singer

July152014

A Night

Sleep pushed into my mind. Then out. Then in.

"If I had a shotgun right now I would probably end it. Wow, I haven’t felt this way in awhile."

I woke up to his loud thought, ill-equipped for what they brought. He teared.

"Well, uh." 

Being unable to see a solution or grasp the concept made me feel like a child. He walked off. I stayed. 

The mood swings of his personality were closer to bi-polar than moody. I was just a friend. A friend with no clue how to help. 

He came back. I talked about the future and the infinite wonders that it could bring. He talked about the lack of meaning of life as a whole. And as much as I believe in everything being an opportunity to grow, I also hold the belief that we are less than a blink in all existence, and that if we are less than a blink and time is relative, we may as well be dead. Paradoxically, I believe there is no reason to not live out the life we’ve been given. Why not strive to bend the rules of life in your favor and see if the game of existence is as steadfast and rigid as the bitter men of the past convince themselves it to be? Or if it is as whimsical, ever-growing, and romantic as the dreamers of the future conceive?

"I don’t know. I can’t relate to your optimism."

"I can’t make you see the way I see things. I’m sorry I can’t be of more help. But if someone doesn’t see the value in life, how am I supposed to change that?"

The silence hung over us like stars in the sky. He was boxed in a cage of self-negating bubbles. My mind searched for sleep. It found none. 

July142014
“The worst is short men. Women can be short, but for men it is impossible. It is something that they will not forgive in life - to be born short. I have never been friends with a short man in my life. Don’t trust them; they are mean, and they want to kill you.”  Karl Lagerfeld, 2003

quotes 

12AM
"It’s as if Perry and I grew up in the same house. And one day he stood up and went out the back door, while I went out the front."
 

"It’s as if Perry and I grew up in the same house. And one day he stood up and went out the back door, while I went out the front."

 

12AM
12AM
June92014
“Furthermore, we have not even to risk the adventure alone; for the heroes of all time have gone before us; the labyrinth is thoroughly known; we have only to follow the thread of the hero-path. And where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god; where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves; where we had thought to travel outward, we shall come to the center of our own existence; where we had thought to be alone, we shall be with all the world.” Joseph Campbell
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